Parenting
Parenting – God’s Perspective
The previous posts, “Marriage” and “Children Part One,” along with this one, are part of a larger topic: The Institution of Family.
When God led the Israelites out of bondage, He commanded them to teach their children all He had done for them (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). He desired that future generations would continue to uphold all His commands. A society quickly declines when one generation fails to instill God’s laws in the next. Parents have a responsibility to their children and an assignment from God to impart His values and truth into their lives.
God does not expect us to raise children without help. He provides biblical instructions for parents on raising children, mainly focusing on Ephesians 6:4, which advises against provoking children to anger.
To raise children in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord,” parents should model the characteristics of God, including patience, forgiveness, and providing constructive discipline. Discipline is closely tied to making disciples, emphasizing the importance of instilling values and imparting life lessons. Proper and consistent discipline can lead to a positive outcome while neglecting it can result in dishonor for both parents and children.
What Is Parenting
Exploring different dictionary definitions of parenting reveals that they often include general elements related to the concept, such as:
- The process of raising a child from birth to independent adulthood
- Facilitating the upbringing of a child through all stages of development
- Caring for and nurturing a child
- Fulfilling the parental responsibilities that accompany child-raising
- The act of caring for a child rather than the biological connection to a child
- Establishing a healthy environment as the child grows—taking actions to ensure social development and education that aligns with your values
- Providing a financially stable home life
- Adjusting to the changing needs of a child as they grow and develop (APA Reference –
Peterson, T. (2022, January 11). What Is Parenting? What Does It Mean to Be a Parent?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 2 from https://www.healthyplace.com/parenting/parenting-skills-strategies/what-is-parenting-what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-parent)
How Important is Parenting?
Genetics, peer relationships, and parenting influence the development of children’s personalities and trajectories. Genetics provides a foundational blueprint for traits and behaviors, while peer interactions play a crucial role in shaping social skills, emotional responses, and identity. Complementing these factors is the critical role of parenting, which encompasses a range of styles and practices that nurture, guide, and discipline, ultimately shaping a child’s worldview and sense of self. These components interlace to create a multifaceted framework that affects not just how children develop and acquire knowledge but also the people they transform into as they experience their surroundings. Studies emphasize that parents offer essential insights, abilities, and cultural principles, especially when dealing with societal challenges such as substance abuse and violence. Furthermore, The Bible brings together all these elements into a cohesive resource and guide.
While parents have a critical responsibility, there’s a complex notion of “parents as offenders,” often emphasized by modern media. Parenting applies to children from marriages, as well as those who are adopted or fostered. God intends for a man and a woman to unite in marriage and raise children who come to know and honor Him. Additionally, adoption is seen as part of God’s plan, as illustrated by His adoption of believers in Jesus as His children. Regardless of how children enter a family, they are regarded as a gift from God, and their upbringing holds great significance for Him.
Scripture distinctly upholds the fundamental right of parents to influence their children’s development. This principle transcends mere abstraction; it serves as a fundamental pillar of American constitutional law. It embodies a deeply ingrained belief in the vital importance of nurturing and preparing future generations to meet the multifaceted challenges of life. This commitment not only ensures the continuity of democratic values but also empowers individuals to thrive in an ever-evolving society. By emphasizing educational opportunities, social responsibility, and civic engagement, we lay a robust foundation for the growth and development of our youth, equipping them with the necessary tools to navigate the complexities of the modern world.
Committed and attentive parents are uniquely positioned to champion their child’s well-being, as they create a supportive environment tailored to their child’s individual needs. This environment plays a critical role in fostering physical health, emotional stability, and cognitive development.
Such a personalized approach is crucial for fostering a lifelong love of learning and cultivating personal resilience in children. By equipping them with the skills to navigate life’s complexities, parents instill a sense of confidence and strength that empowers children to face challenges head-on, flourish in adversity, and ultimately contribute positively to society. In this way, the parent-child dynamic not only shapes individual futures but also fortifies the fabric of the community, ensuring a vibrant and capable generation to come.
Influences Affecting Parenting
Keep in mind that, once again, the journalists, academics, and storytellers who shape the heights of our culture frequently convey that parenthood can bring unhappiness, ruin our marriages, and be particularly harmful to the environment. “Parents in America Are Unhappy: Moms and Dads Both Experience a Significant’ Happiness Gap,’” reported Salon (Salon.com), citing a recent sociological study. The Washington Post contributed with another gloomy perspective, this time regarding the combination of marriage and childbirth: “Having Children Can Damage Your Marriage.” And, not to be outdone in the anti-natalist narrative, NBC News added their voice with this headline: Science Demonstrates Kids Are Detrimental to the Planet. Morality Indicates We Should Consider Not Having Them. (Paraphrased from Brad Wilcox, Get Married, Broadside Books, p. 111)
Time made this very evident in its cover story titled “The Child Free Life,” which illustrated a lovely couple enjoying a vacation in the tropics with the sub-headline: “When having it all means not having children.” Children restrict our ability to fully indulge in la dolce vita, whether it’s an idyllic Caribbean beach getaway or dining at that trendy new restaurant downtown that’s getting great reviews. Having a crying infant or an energetic toddler makes it significantly more challenging to dine out, travel, and engage in our hobbies to our fullest delight. “Spontaneous trips to Paris, skydiving lessons, or a charming convertible for two might be unattainable if you have a baby at home,” highlighted NBC’s Today Show. (Paraphrased from Brad Wilcox, Get Married, Broadside Books, p. 112)
Analyzing Parenting Perspectives
Parenting is a multifaceted journey with no single approach that fits all when raising children. Throughout the years, various parenting styles have emerged, each characterized by distinct philosophies and techniques. These diverse approaches can yield a wide array of outcomes, often resulting in both beneficial and detrimental traits in individuals as they grow. For instance, certain styles may promote qualities like independence and resilience, while others might inadvertently encourage fear or dependency. The impact of parenting is nuanced and reflects the myriad ways in which parents nurture, discipline, and communicate with their children. Challenges can arise, particularly when external influences lead an individual to alter their behaviors, beliefs, or opinions or when such influences negatively impact their development. One positive change in parenting is to commit to using Scripture as the ultimate guide. Parents are encouraged to adopt the biblical principles, ensuring a proven course of action.
Societal attitudes toward parenthood are shifting, with many people now viewing it as less significant than in prior generations. This change is mainly due to evolving values, personal expectations, and modern pressures. As technology advances and gender roles continue to evolve, the traditional concept of family is being reconsidered. For many individuals, personal fulfillment, career advancement, and individual experiences now take priority over the conventional goal of starting a family.
Additionally, the heightened availability of information via social media and the internet has fostered a culture of comparison and aspiration that can further erode the perceived value of parenting. Influencers and notable figures often display lifestyles that emphasize independence and personal achievement, which may lead to a collective reassessment of what constitutes a fulfilling life. As a result, an increasing number of people are opting to postpone or forgo parenthood, leading to a redefinition of family roles and a broader perspective on nurturing and caring for future generations. In the modern era, the notion of parenting is undergoing transformation, encouraging society to explore new family models that accommodate the diverse experiences and ambitions of today’s individuals.
The Downside
Plenty of media coverage and scholarship make it seem like childlessness is the more desirable path. Recall that Salon headline: “American Parents Are Miserable: Moms and Dads Alike Face a Massive ‘Happiness Gap’.” In the article, Kali Holloway stressed that “raising kids can sometimes be a real drag” before summarizing studies indicating that parenthood is linked to “lower levels of happiness,” “life satisfaction, and “mental well-being.”
Holloway’s article is based on a 2016 research study delivering sobering news about parenthood from family scholars at the University of Texas-Austin, Wake Forest, and Baylor University. They reported that American parents were 13 percentage points less happy than their childless peers, a fact they attributed to the lack of work-family policies, such as paid parental leave and childcare subsidies, in the United States. “Having kids in the US is brutal,” said Robin Simon, a sociologist at Wake Forest University who co-authored the study.
Simon also reported that US parenthood is not linked to a greater sense of purpose in life. “I thought at least purpose and meaning in life would be higher for parents, and we find it’s just flat, “she told the South China Morning Post.” “There is joy to having kids. But I think that for most people, the stresses associated with having kids overshadow those joys.” (Brad Wilcox, Get Married, Broadside Books, p. 114 – 115)
The challenges of parenting must be acknowledged, underscoring the importance of supportive communities and resources in enhancing practices and promoting emotional well-being. It is hoped that the Church serves as a valuable source of assistance, encouragement, and direction for parents. The youth represent the future of this country, and effective parenting is crucial for developing positive, resourceful, and dedicated individuals who will contribute to making America even better.
The Upside
The referenced Studies suggest that parenthood is a trap, likely to leave fathers and mothers feeling miserable and meaningless compared to their childless peers. There’s only one problem with this hand-wringing about parenthood: it no longer aligns with the data.
While it is true that surveys conducted in the 20th century often indicated that parents are less likely to report happiness than their childless peers, this is no longer the case. Research by economist Chris Herbst and the Institute for Family Studies suggests that the tide of happiness has shifted in recent years in favor of parents, especially those who are married. For instance, a 2021 YouGov survey shows that childless Americans are now more likely to report that their lives are lonely and less likely to report that they are meaningful and happy. A clear majority of men and women (nearly 60%) ages 18 to 55 who do not have kids report that they are lonely some, most, or all of the time.
Parenting is challenging, but with God’s help, parents can fulfill the blessing in Proverbs 22:6: Teach a child in the way he should go, and he will not depart from it. Children are a “heritage from the Lord” (Psalms 127:3), and good parenting aims to raise wise children who honor God. Proverbs 23:24 highlights that a father of godly children has joy. A guidebook for parents emphasizes using the Bible as a primary reference while nurturing a personal relationship with God through His Son to deepen understanding and connection to His teachings.
P.S. The next post will assess the various manipulations and influences that impact the legal system as an institution.